Mole (7)

Moment I will never forget, actually I don’t want to it has changed me:
The day I knew I have cancer, is the day when I received my “wakeup call”.

I was at JUH catching up with my surgeon – OH, how much I love this person -, checking my incision healing progress and waiting for the pathology results – I can swear he knew the results way ago and kept sending me back to home without sharing it with me, because he was shocked himself and wanted to double check "as per his confession later on", as we all was relying that it is 95% benign (Hameed) - y3ni it is rare to find "Tsunami" in that area - , and here is a lesson to learn never take things for granted- .

So the day he decided to share that with me he asked me to follow him to his office… I followed with a big smile (common he saved my face – I love him) and said so Ola … long breath ... 6ele3 elle mesh mnee7…. Again shock –absorb- fight forward … i said: Wallah el 3azeem kunt 7asseh, what is it? Hodgkin’s? – As we were suspecting this but it’s the kindest cancer you can ever know, so I wasn’t worrying because I knew there is a treatment - well maybe a little :) -. He said: No, "Tsunami". What is that? During my researches I didn’t find it. What is that type doc? It’s a skin cancer with worry hesitation as I say (bye, bye), the moment I heard that I remembered my friend’s mom who passed away back then with same cancer type (negative thoughts).

I’m going to keep the rest of drama to myself, but I can tell you I didn’t sleep for 2 nights on follow– and am the one who sleeps like babies -, cried cried cried. Till I reached to a moment I MUST – no choice - to promise myself to stop whining, grow up, deal with it, and fight forward - It’s not a piece of cake, it’s a life, my life- however it’s a knew you now.

The other next week, another surgery was set to me; it was done with local anesthetic, and I kept awake. I enjoyed this surgery, we laughed – me, my surgeon, assistants and students - and even while we were busy between talking and laughing a scissors has fallen by mistake on my face – that I could have lost accidently without even having cancer - but it passed (Hamdellah).

A week later, in another appointment I was waiting for my turn and I heard my surgeon from another room telling another patient that he is now diagnosed with cancer, with the same words (6ele3 elle mesh mnee7), Wallah I laughed – sarcastic - and said poor him he has to get over it now, when falsafji said: he is 70 he doesn’t care.

He killed me with his "falsafeh", and thought, Meen enta to judge? everyone has the RIGHT to live, and to live cancer free or at least with no pain.