Mole (14)

“You may ask nobody can take this of your shoulder? Well, I always preferred to go alone, why? Well, I have my reasons” – Mole5:

During the last year I collected Scans, Medical Reports, CDs copies that weight like 2.5-3K? – Right Cousin? I know that because I had to ship them to the US “Imagine, how much does that cost”.

Each scan, medical report and even CD preparation request, required giving KHCC a visit. And since I’m an employee, a person, and a patient who has work, personal, life and life with “Tsunami” I wanted to get the ultimate out of them as per time and "joy" sometimes, and this can only happen by organizing your schedule, being organized - will help you in this- and stay focused.

Saturday is the fun day when usually a mate joins – as per their well “no push”- a day I use for the longest time needed to stay at KHCC (Most likely for scans, Blood tests, and Mta7sheh…etc), and since the results need days to come out I won’t be in coma by then; I won’t lose the communication with my partner, because if so I become (La yomken el itsal beh) when the fun is lost. If no one joined - which is totally fine with me - I take a mate that won’t worry about my coma AKA “a Book”.

Weekdays, everyone is taking care of their shit (work, life, kids, disease!!!) I don’t like to bother this is me and this is one! On the other hand, KHCC appointments almost work by the clock – something we share - I submit a leave from work and head there. (1) If I had to take someone with me i'll need to pick him/her up which means I should leave work earlier – thinking of it, my vacation balance will be screwed with my frequent leaves-, (2) I may arrive on time or not – however, I still can see my doctor, but mmmm – (3) one more thing, I always wanted to be “the one, and the only one” who knows what is next as per the results, consultation feedback and everything related to “Tsunami”. I take the “Hit” that’s fine but I’m the one who knows the “In” and “Out” in details – regarding my researches, consultations .. bla bla bla - ,I just give the rest – except the family “excluding Um Omar – sometimes :) -” – the conclusion.

To tell you the truth my oncologist asked me more than once: Why you come alone? – are you a foreigner “Thinking I’m ajnabieh”, I say: no need, BUT for now “Um Omar Halkato :)”.

When I think of it and about what is coming, I’m more convinced that what I did is right. Why is that? Because I saved their energy for now, for what is worse! Specially I didn’t go in any therapy back then except for the surgery, making decisions, and routine scans and checkups I could manage it by myself.

What is funny when you come to think of it, if I was relying on someone and I had to fly with to the US – as I went for a MED consultation-, wouldn’t that be worse? Why? For only one reason, I lost the first flight ticket I bought – because of sherkeh 7aramieh - and had to buy another one - Ba3zaga mahieh-, and I will leave the math for you.

Besides ALL of that, I believe – and this is mainly because I became a rejected single girl with cancer – I should take care of my shit when no one would do that to me.

Grow up, Take care of yourself.