Mole (11)

I was setting in the livingroom and family is around (Father, Mom, and sis) it’s a casual day – actually it was the third day of Eid that ended with emotional exposure and strength to gain – when I sensed I’m going to experience (listen to your body :)) my second collapse (that doesn’t make me lose my consciousness at least - Hamdellah).

This time, I had the chance to bring attention first and shouted: here it is coming, here it is.. shofo sho ra7 yseer m3i (like ill play a movie show :P). And Yes, Same symptoms happened - wondering if that muscle cream would help back then?!! - a full stiff for my left part of my body.

Dad was holding my feet, sis was holding my hand - that I lost control and sensation for it for a while and got it back (Hamdelah)-, and Mom was holding my head and it was obvious that my face and tongue are out of control as well … forget the symptoms and what I experienced.. My biggest attention was on Mom, who was holding my head to her chest and kept on repeating: la tkhafi mama, la tkhafi … and I was trying to reply with the stiffed tongue: mesh khaifeh, mesh khaifeh, Hamdellah, Hamdellah....

Few minutes later, when things were back to normal I could glance mom standing away with her red eyes and barely holding tears, (and my mom is that person who rarely truly RARELY cry, she is a very strong person no wonder from where I got mine), and i think she was thinking: "What is wrong with my baby? her checkups were fine and we celebrated her 1 year cancer free Ya Allah", or its just what i felt.

Mom has her full trust and support to me; I remember the day I got my driving license she said: take my car and go for a drive (I said:o5, o5, o5) I used this trust and went for a friend visit. and even now although I’m not allowed to drive - and she knows how much driving does mean to me - she said: you are allowed to drive on morning Fridays for only 2 hours – o5bot, Wasse3 lal sagger – Nuh not this time mom, it’s like spreading my cancer on other drivers :) - 7aram-.

A dear friend enlighten me once and said: if your mom at a point felt she can’t do anything to help, the least she will do is to cook. That’s true, Um Omar is now cooking on DAILY bases and even following my diet restrictions and you know what?! she is mastering it.

If I’m fighting, I’m fighting mainly for her and for the rest beloved ones who started to realize that cancer is no biggy.., and even when she glance me crying and I know that she knows why, she asks: why are you crying? Is there any pain?... I tuff up and reply: No Mom, it is just crying helps me in losing (Maiiet el ras :) ) – as I call the water I have surrounding my bara3em, and causing pressure.

I love my mom (who doesn’t), she is nice and COOL she has an Email, Facebook and twitter accounts :) - Yes, you can add her- and she keeps on shouting: (OLA, ta3i fix this for my account) ... Hehehe, Redaki ya Um Omar.


Yes!, don’t be selfish fight for your beloved ones as well.